Becoming My Own Biggest Fan

Why I’m Rooting For Me in 2022 & Why You Should Root For You too!

In the spirit of the new year, the introspection of another year passed and a fresh start can lead one to examine themselves, and fuel a desire to create a “new you.” Not to mention that the commercial world takes note. ‘Tis the time where the “new you” corresponds with advertisements for diets, gym memberships, financial planning apps-you know the drill. And, while all of these plans can help put you on a positive path forward, if you don’t believe in yourself and I mean really believe in yourself, then what’s the point?

If you want to reach your potential, first you need to commit to becoming your own biggest fan.

You Are More Than Enough

It’s not easy to get to a place where you truly believe that you’re enough. And that’s just the baseline we need to get on the pathway to becoming our own biggest fans. The thing is, most of us are hardwired to believe that we aren’t enough. How many of us truly give ourselves the same sort of advice we give our friends? It’s something that I constantly tell myself, and my friends. Whenever a friend is being hard on themselves, holding themselves to impossible standards, I ask them, “what would you say to me if I were saying this to you? Always, theirton changes and they’re much kinder. So, why is it that we can be so kind to others, but not ourselves?

For some, it can be the painful trauma of past abuse, or highly critical parents. And for others, it can be the influence of our highly competitive and sometimes harsh society. Whatever it is for you, you have to agree that constantly criticizing yourself isn’t helping you reach your potential.

It’s Worth It

It’s not going to be easy. It takes hard work and consistency, but it’s so worth it. Think about the way you feel about an idol, and imagine how full your life would be if you gave yourself that kind of love.

Get Honest

First things first, before you become your own biggest fan, you need to get yourself to a place where you truly value and believe in your worth. And this means being honest with yourself. If you aren’t feeling confident and content with yourself, it may be because you have veered off the path of being your authentic self. Getting honest with yourself can look like asking yourself questions such as:

• Am I truly content with my life?
• What would I need to change in order to become more content?
• If money were no object, what would I like to do for work?
• If money were no object, what would I like to study/pursue?
• What excites me?

Make a Plan

Once you have gotten honest with yourself, you may have realised that there are things that you have yet achieved in life. It may seem overwhelming. Often people think that they are too old to change careers, or learn something new, but in contrast learning something new is what keeps you young.

When making a plan, it is very easy to overwhelm yourself. After asking yourself the above reflective questions, you are likely intune with your true passions and goals. I’m talking about discovering what you really want, free of outside influences. For example, you may have realized that you want to get into acting. You may even fantasize about making it big and win a major award, but be careful of getting too carried away with such fantasies. Not because you can’t make it, but because you’re seeking validation in terms of others’ perceived notion of success.

Keeping it realistic doesn’t have to mean that you’re making yourself small. It can mean that you’re setting yourself up to fulfill your passion in a meaningful way. So, if your dream is to get into acting, try by starting with community theatre. See how it makes you feel. Don’t get me wrong, big dreams have a beautiful way of moving and motivating you to push yourself. However, it’s important to remember that if you set your goal too high at first, and you don’t achieve it, you can end up feeling incredibly deflated.

Breakdown the Goals

One of the best ways to ensure your success, and really help yourself achieve your potential, is to break down your big goal into smaller goals. I am a prime example of someone who easily fantasizes, and gets carried away in dreaming easily. And, I allow myself to do this. I still believe that it’s important to allow yourself to daydream, and visualize yourself getting exactly what it is that you want. However, when I awake, I need a plan to achieve this dream. Dreaming, manifestation-whatever you want to call it, has its place, but at some point, you need to something; at some point, you need a plan.

And, if that plan is to achieve an enormous goal too fast, you are likely to end up disappointed. For me at this present moment, my big dream is to publish a novel. Sure, I find myself dreaming about doing book readings, and making the New York Times bestseller list. This is a normal part of the process, but then I need to do something about it. And so, I plan.

I can’t even begin to think about publishing something that isn’t written, so I break down my goals in the form of chapters. And, this can be applied to other goals like running a marathon. You don’t wake up one day and say “I’m going to run over 42 kilometers.” No, if you want to run a marathon, you need a plan. You need to break it down into smaller goals that you can achieve where your body is at that time. You may need to run 1 kilometer, and then walk the next in the beginning stages. However, if you attempt to run forty two or even 10 kilometers without any training, you’re likely to fail, hurt yourself, and end up discouraged to keep on training. This is why breaking down your big goals into smaller steps is setting you up for success, and setting you up to become your own biggest fan.

Believe It

If you want to become your own biggest fan, you need to believe in yourself the same way you would your idol. Think about how you view someone you admire. I mean really think about it- the way you feel when their name comes up, how you describe them, and then apply it to yourself. You need to give yourself that same positive energy.

You can even do this as a meditation. Try this:

In a comfortable seated position, or laying down, close your eyes. You can start first with a body scan: noticing how each part of your body feels. Beginning with the top of your head,to your face, forehead, and jaw, shoulders, upper arms, forearms, wrists, torso, chest, stomach, lower back, hip, thighs, knees, shins, calves, ankles, and feet. Then, think of someone you admire. It can be someone famous if you like, but it’s not necessary. It could also be a loved one, a colleague, anyone. Just think of one person you look up to, someone you perhaps aspire to be more like. Visualise their face as you think about them. Notice how you feel as you think about them. Now, replace that image of them with an image of you. How do you feel? Notice any differences in how you feel. Take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out, and bring back that image of your idol. Notice any differences in how you feel. I want you to replace the image of your idol again with an image of yourself, but this time I want you to hold onto those feelings you attached with your idol as you see yourself. You’re smiling. You’re thriving. You are your own idol. Take a deep breath in, pouring all the positive energy an idol like you deserves, and a deep breath out, releasing any negative energy you still have. Slowly open your eyes.

Frame Yourself Like an Idol

If meditation isn’t your thing (but I still really think that you should try it), consider writing. Try framing yourself as you would an idol. You can even write a note on your phone. Try pretending to send a text to a friend about your idol. Just as you would describe someone you admire to a friend, write about your idol, except this time, your idol is you. It may seem silly at first, but it is a powerful way to develop your inner dialogue with yourself. Just like those critical thoughts have had an impact on how you see yourself, when you begin to train your brain to think more positively about yourself, it can have a tremendous effect on your life.

Give Yourself a High-Five

I recently listened to an episode of the Jay Shetty podcast where he interviewed Mel Robbins. She was promoting her new book, “The High Five Habit.” Robbins suggests that every morning when you’re looking in the mirror and setting an intention, that you raise your hand, and give your reflection in the mirror a high five. All of those positive associations with high fives rush through you as you give yourself the support and encouragement that you need to become your own biggest fan.

Respect

And what it comes down to is-how much respect are you willing to give yourself? Becoming your own biggest fan is an act of self love and respect.

So, what are you waiting for? We all have worth. There’s something beautiful to discover and cheer on in all of us. If you can believe that to be true of others, you can believe it to be true of yourself.

Peace & Love!

Lauren

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